Healing after a Suicidal Loss — When Grief Gets Complicated

“Did we miss the signs?” “Could something have been done?”

You may have these questions when you lose some loved one to suicide. You will face a complicated facet of grief while dealing with a suicidal loss. Grief is something that we all experience, no matter what. It comes in waves—sometimes expected and other times catching us off guard. This is especially true when your loved one commits suicide, leaving you behind with intense emotions of anger, abandonment, and guilt. 

Amidst this storm of emotions, we must adopt healthy strategies to overcome the grief of the suicidal loss. 

Suicidal Loss Can Cause Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) 

The loss of a loved one is indeed a harsh reality that is hard to accept. However, losing someone to suicide can be deeply traumatic. This emotional impact lingers far beyond the initial grief.

You may get flashbacks, nightmares, and an urge to avoid places or experiences that trigger painful memories of your loved one. 

These reactions are normal in the first few months, but if they persist for more than two months, it may be a sign that you’re struggling with more than just grief—possibly acute stress disorder or Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). 

Getting help from a mental health professional can assist you in processing your feelings and dealing with these emotions. 

Helping Children Understand Suicide

Talking to a child about suicide can be both overwhelming and awkward. But remember that you can always share age-appropriate stuff with them. Some children tend to develop PTSD if they face a suicidal loss. So, it is important to reassure them that they didn’t cause this loss. 

Coping with Suicide Grief: A Simple Guide

Here is a simple guide to dealing with grief because of a suicidal loss: 

1. Everyone grieves differently.

Grief is personal. You grieve because you loved and connected with the person you lost. There’s no need to apologize for your grief or changing emotions. 

• You can write down your feelings in a journal to let out all your emotions. 
• You may find solace in watching their old videos and stuff. 
• Even listening to their favorite songs and making their favorite dishes is also something people do. 

No one had the same relationship with the person you lost as you did, so let yourself grieve in your way. 

2. Move Beyond the Question “Why?”

After a suicide, it’s normal to ask, “Why did they do it?” However, it’s important to accept that you may never fully understand. You can still heal, even without all the answers. As time passes, you might think differently about the loss, and that’s a normal part of healing.

3. Remember their life, not just their death.

Your loved one’s life was about more than their suicide. Please focus on the good memories, their achievements, and the joy they brought into your life. Share those memories with others who loved them, too.

4. There’s no rush to “get over” a suicide loss.

It takes time for the pain to become less intense. You won’t ever fully get over it, but you will find a way to get through it at your own pace.

5. Take care of yourself while grieving. 

It’s hard to think about your health while grieving, but it’s important to take care of your basic needs. 

• Drink enough water.
• Get some light exercise.
• Try to rest whenever you can. 
• Get enough sleep.
• Spend time outside and connect with nature if you can. 
• Don’t hesitate to ask others for help—whether taking a nap, walking, or preparing a healthy meal.

P.S: Avoid using drugs or alcohol to cope—they’ll only create more problems in the long run.

6. Don’t try to handle this on your own. 

It’s common to withdraw, but leaning on friends, family, or support groups can ease your grief. When you’re ready, talking about your experience can be an important step in healing.

Takeaway Message

Grief doesn’t follow a straight path. Some days may be easier, but reminders like birthdays or holidays can bring the pain back. Remember, healing from a suicide loss takes time, and others may move on before you’re ready. Don’t feel pressured to rush through your grief or make major life decisions while you’re still overwhelmed.

There are resources and communities available to support you in your grief. You don’t have to go through this alone—reach out when you need help.